new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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