i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
