dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
