The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
