Pants 0. Shit 1.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
did i walk over a car last night?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is Oprah even human
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
