she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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