i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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