it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
