On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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