Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
