Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
