Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
