Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
