that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
