hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
