We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
