K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
