i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
