Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize