I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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