Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
