That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
