Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
