I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
