We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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