i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
