Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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