Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
