After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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