come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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