I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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