'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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