Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
