god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
