i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
