I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
