You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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