Quick, to the slutcave!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
