I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
