why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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