the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
