I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
