I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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