she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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