My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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