Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
