New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize