69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
