I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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