you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
