just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
