my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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