Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
of course. lets lasso hookers.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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